The Second Moon of Adonis

location: 94803

mood: guilty

music: Frnzal Rhomb - Genius

As part of the initial introduction to the adoption agency, I had to fill out a short application. It had all the usual things you’d expect from an application, such as what my name was, who I worked for, and if I’d ever been convicted of a felony.

The difficult part, though, was the section with checkbox stating what I would and would not consider in a prospective foster child or adoptee. AASK deals with “special needs” children. “Special needs,” in this case, is a California state legal term that covers a very broad range of characteristics that might might a child difficult to adopt, from pre-natal drug exposure, to being over the age of three, to belonging to a racial minority. Because of the kind of children they place, they needed to know what I would and would not be willing to accept into my home.

Some of the choices were easy. For example, because of my dogs and birds, I had no qualms putting a checkbox next to “history of abusing animals.” Other were more difficult. Would I consider taking in a child with a mental disability? A physical one? A child who had previously taken drugs? Who had ever run away?

Part of the reason I’m looking in this is that I feel that I would make a good parent, and that I’d like to pass on some of what I’ve learned in my 40 years to someone who’s just starting out in this world. However, another part is that I feel like there’s at least one kid out there who needs someone like me who is willing and able to take him or her out of a bad situation, and into a nice, loving home and a better life.

Even though I know all of that is true, and that I really am a good person, it’s not easy to quantify it; to say “I will help this kid, but I won’t help that one.”

We all have our limits, but having to define them in a series of checkboxes, any one of which might keep a kid from finding a good home, isn’t any easy thing to have to do.